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March 14th, 2008
10:54 pm - Грамотны ли ВЫ?
| Итак, Вы Грамотный медвед | | Очень грамотный медвед )А если серьезно, то неплохо. | | Пройти тест |
хе-хе, я грамотный медвед=)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/happy.gif) happy
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10:48 pm - Villagers Worship Baby With Two Faces As God
SAINI VILLAGE, India -- Word is spreading among villagers in northern India of a baby born this week with two faces.
The newborn girl is seen as an incarnation of God, and people are making offerings and asking for the baby's blessing.
The doctor who delivered the girl said she and her mother are healthy and doing well.
The baby girl's parents hope the government will help them give the little girl further treatment.
Current Mood: shocked
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March 12th, 2008
11:30 pm - Я и не соневалась
| Поздравляем!!! Вам ближе славянская культура | Вы по-настоящему русский человек! Вам вполне комфортно в России, и это очень хорошо, когда человек живет в обществе, ценности которого разделяет.  | | Пройти тест |
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March 11th, 2008
11:36 pm - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite gender. It spawned a series of follow-on books expanding on specific situations(see below).
The book, as suggested by the title, asserts the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planets. Gray adopts this metaphor as the central theme of all his books and seminars, likening men and women to the classical Roman god Mars and goddess Venus as ideal types.
In contrast to some psychologists (and feminists) who emphasize similarities between the sexes, Gray writes almost exclusively about differences. Gray says that his "Martians" and "Venusians" are only stereotypes and cannot be applied blindly to individuals.
An example of the theories it offers is that women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions. Other concepts in the book are the difference between women and men's point systems and how they react under stress.
Concepts
Concepts Gray espouses in his books include:
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The point system
Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act of love one point at a time.
Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops. This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance.
Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For example, the different parts of the environment where the present is give each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.
The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
[edit]
The cave and the wave
Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow then to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.
The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a women feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop put of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
As one reviewer put it:
When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.
Читаю книгу, и каждый раз возвращаюсь к началу. вроде бы все усвоила, как и что надо, но каждый раз погружаюсь все глубже и глубже.. и ведь все вещи-то вроде понятны, а все равно делаю одни и те же ошибки...
Current Mood: hopeful
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09:02 pm - Первое сообщение
Мое первое сообщение здесь, в ЖЖ.. вот учусь.. пока ничего не умею.. ни как писать, ни как вставлять фотки... проба пера еще к тому же...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/confused.gif) confused
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